They're with us

So, on Friday we found out our foster kids will be with us for a few more months, if their mom wises up. It will continue to be challenging, but we can do it. The Lord has been there thus far and we know he will continue to give us strength and energy to deal with these kids. We love them so much and we are relieved they are going to be in a safe and loving home for a while. :)

It's all in God's hands

So, tomorrow we find out if our foster kids will be going to live with their Grandma. She lives with a guy who is married to someone else in Mexico. Originally she didn't want to adopt them if their mom failed. But, now she changed her mind. Their are a lot of little things about the whole thing drive me insane. But at the end of the day, it is all up to DCFS. They usually choose kinship if they barely scrape by and are good enough.
I know that I have said a million times that we are done with Foster care, but after this I think we are. It's just hard for me to work so hard and then DCFS always choosing kinship no matter what.
We will see what the future holds for us. I am completely exhausted at the end of each day. We have learned so much through this experience that will help us throughout our lives and hopefully we have helped these kids learn certain things that they can take with them.
Anyway, just wanted to record my feelings a bit. Now I need to go deal with screaming kids in the next room. :)

Bear River Bottoms

This year we have been getting out of the house a lot. With Six kids if you don't get out, you go insane! We went to this place near Logan Called Little Bear River Bottoms or something. It was so fun. The kids played on this huge pile of one ton straw bails. It was cool because they had little spots for the kids to play in and since they were one ton, they weren't mov'n. We also went in some corn mazes and a twine maze. Our favorite part was the hay ride. We weren't going to go, but the driver came over and needed some more riders. He cut us a great deal. It was so funny, it was a little haunted. The main guy asked for some volunteers.  Byron and Ethan went up. They went in this outhouse and this guy with a scary mask went up behind them. It was so funny to watch because Ethan got pretty scared. He was trying to act tough, but he was scared. It was in broad daylight and the guy geared it toward kids.
Then it was so funny because the kids were talking on the way home about what our driver on the hayride said. There was a part that he claimed we got sprayed with water that had cow poo in it. Then one of the kids said it was cow pee. Ethan spoke up all matter of factly and said, "No, cow pee is milk". Wes and I laughed and laughed about that. It's funny what kids put together in their minds.

Are you serious!?

So,
We expected to have to say goodbye to our foster children this week. We were heart broken, relieved, scared for the kids (because we didn't know if a 23 year old boy with a girl friend could handle these kids, plus we didn't know what the environment was like), etc.
Today I got an email from their case worker saying.....the uncle didn't pass the background check. That was unexpected.
We are going to continue to love these kids and help them feel safe.
We will have them for Halloween. Which will be fun. Halloween is a kids Holiday and it's so fun to see their excitement.
Life is so unexpected, seriously!
For today I am relieved and happy. :) Who would have thought I would welcome this wild life of having six kids and love these foster kids as I do.
Wes is really happy too!
We have just gotten so far with breaking through their shells and figuring out what we can do for them to help their development.
They call us "Mom" and "Dad" and just seem so happy here.
Lets see what Heavenly Father chooses to happen with these Foster kids and what path they are suppose to take.
So, keep us in your prayers. We need them coming. :)
Our prayers were definitely answered.

Oh the heart ache

Today our foster kids' case worker came to our house to see their environment and deliver us the bad news. Kinship has come forward! I can't believe that the exact same thing that happened with our last placement is happening again. I think I am in a state of shock, disbelief, and sadness. I just want to crawl in a hole and weep!
But, I know I have to go on. Just knowing these sweet kids are probably going to be out of our house within the next few weeks just kills me. It's hard because we have seen so much progress already.
They probably will be raised in day care. With an uncle and his girlfriend who both work.
Whatever. We are done.
We have given this our all, and some may call us selfish to not want to do Foster Care again. But oh well.
We had hoped to have these kids for at least 6 months, or maybe forever. But, I guess it's not up to us.
Wes says he doesn't even want to try to adopt either. So, our hopes of building our family may be over. We'll see, when things calm down a bit he may have a softening of heart.
But, for now I am going to cuddle the ones in my care and continue to wonder what Heavenly Father has planned for me.
Just had to vent. I am going to go crawl in my hole now. :)