Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Oh the heart ache

Today our foster kids' case worker came to our house to see their environment and deliver us the bad news. Kinship has come forward! I can't believe that the exact same thing that happened with our last placement is happening again. I think I am in a state of shock, disbelief, and sadness. I just want to crawl in a hole and weep!
But, I know I have to go on. Just knowing these sweet kids are probably going to be out of our house within the next few weeks just kills me. It's hard because we have seen so much progress already.
They probably will be raised in day care. With an uncle and his girlfriend who both work.
Whatever. We are done.
We have given this our all, and some may call us selfish to not want to do Foster Care again. But oh well.
We had hoped to have these kids for at least 6 months, or maybe forever. But, I guess it's not up to us.
Wes says he doesn't even want to try to adopt either. So, our hopes of building our family may be over. We'll see, when things calm down a bit he may have a softening of heart.
But, for now I am going to cuddle the ones in my care and continue to wonder what Heavenly Father has planned for me.
Just had to vent. I am going to go crawl in my hole now. :)

Monday, October 17, 2011

Well that was unexpected

So, we have 3 new foster kids.
We were just about to let our foster license expire within weeks. We had just completed all the paperwork and the homestudy for a new Adoption Agency. Then one day I got this situation in an email of 3 foster children the state was looking for a placement for. They were three hispanic children ages:6,3,and 2. Boy, Boy, and girl. For some reason I was just about to delete the email and something told me to talk to Wes about it. So, that night I did. We figured we did have room and it would fit perfectly into our home to have the girls share a room and two boys to share a room upstairs and then the other boys share a room downstairs. We prayed about it, couldn't sleep over it. But, we didn't hear back. We figured they had chosen another family.
A few days later our licencor called to see if we had space for 3 more kids. I asked her if they were considering us and she said she wasn't sure. A few hours later one of the case workers from our local agency called and said they wanted to offer the children to us. She told me about them. The problems that they had didn't seem to be anything we couldn't handle.
Originally we wouldn't take any child older than our youngest and for sure no more than 2 kids. But, for some reason we felt good about this situation. The first day we went down to visit them, I was so nervous! We went to meet them at the shelter they were living at after they got removed from their mom. I didn't feel an instant bond or love for them. The middle one kept climbing and jumping off things onto me. He bit my hair, ran into me a lot, and hit his head against my jaw. The youngest one was stand offish and kept saying no and wouldn't engage. The oldest was fine, but bickered with his siblings. Then we went outside and played with them. That's when we bonded a bit with them. The older one heard we had a trampoline and wanted to come home with us that night. The middle one was responsive to my teaching and the youngest one wanted to be held by Wes. I still wasn't sure about it.
Then next day we went and picked them up. We had our kids with us and we all fill up our vehicle.
The first few days were way hard and I felt so overwhelmed I kept asking Wes, "Are we sure we can do this". By the end of each day we both crash.
The middle child has proven to be the most difficult. But, we have seen the most progress with.
Come to find out they didn't have any discipline at all and the birth mom appears to be afraid of the middle one, because she just doesn't know how to control him.
They are all gorgeous kids! They have dark brown eyes and long eye lashes. My friend at church yesterday said we look like a giant ice cream cone with chocolate and vanilla swirl. And I am the cherry on top. I thought that was cute.
Every day it gets easier and we are beginning to handle it.
I think the hardest thing about the whole foster care thing is the appointments. Dentist, Doctor, WIC, Mental Health Assessment, School Enrollment, Birth Mom visits, etc. It seems like we have at least one appointment a day. But, it will slow down. It is just really hard to continue on with life and everything we were doing before like Dance, Football, Soccer, Karate, Preschool, etc.
But, we are making do. We can't do it without Heavenly Fathers help. We know he has had a hand in this for sure.
So, we will have these little ones in our home for at least 5-6 months, Could be 12, or forever at this point. We just don't know. Our main goal is to teach, love, and try to make a positive impact on these kids.
It has been so rewarding to teach them about prayer and the gospel. Our oldest foster child said the prayer in Primary yesterday. It is so worth it to be a Foster Parent, but I wouldn't recommend it for the faint at heart. Because, it is very challenging.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

And the busyness begins!

I love the fall! This year it seems like everyday I have at least two extra things besides Preschool planned. Byron started Football, Ethan soccer, and Lilly dance/clogging/gymnastics-it's just a once a week class that the teacher teaches all three of those things. Our kids are having a blast and love to have something they do. It's nice that none of them have gotten in the way of the other. 


 I was at the grocery store the other day and couldn't resist these little angels! We have been open to the idea of getting kitties since our stray cat was killed by that stray dog that came in our neighborhood. The White and Black one is "Rio" and the striped one is "Silvia". They are so entertaining to watch and play with.





Felix and Midnight are not liking these two little new additions. They are jealous, but they also look so fun to chase. Whenever we take the kitties outside they are watched well, because they are both so tiny!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

What a fun Spur of the moment weekend

Over Labor Day Weekend Wes learned that he didn't have to work on Monday. So, we decided to go up to Idaho for a long weekend with Wes's parents.
We brought our quads up and rode them a lot. We went swimming at "The Ledge", a favorite swimming hole the locals like to go to. We played games, rode horses, went to the park, ate good food, and enjoyed each other's company.
Here are some pics...
Can you tell I am a little camera happy?































Monday, August 22, 2011

Education Week






This is a picture of Uncle David holding Liz's dog Harvey. We were all laughing so hard! It was hilarious! 


Last week me and the kids went down to my sister Liz's house for education week. Every day we would trade off. I would watch Liz's kids and my kids in the morning and she would watch them in the afternoon. Our sister Sarah would come with me in the afternoon. Originally Liz was supposed to go with her sister in law, but she wasn't able to make it. :(
I learned so many inspirational things. Information I will be able to use throughout my life.
Our kids loved being together with their cousins. We did a lot of fun things like go to Seven Peaks, the movie, and Sushi.
We had such a blast and we are looking forward to next year!
I really grew closer to my nieces and nephews. They are sweet hearts.
Wes missed us a ton, but it's good for us to be apart from each other for a while. We appreciate each other more.
I would recommend BYU Education week to everyone.

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